Decoding the Facebook: College!

Suffering from dumb Facebook Status updates from your friends at college? Worry no more!

Christian Krauspeby Christian Krauspe

No group of people is more acquainted with social networking than college students. After all, that’s where it all started? And today is no different. Everyday, looking at your Facebook newsfeed, you see people commenting on classes, relationships, partying, all that fun-stuff that goes along with spending mom and dad’s money. And let’s be honest – no one really says what they ever mean, so we here at CRAVE have developed a helpful little guide to help you decipher the subtext of what your friends are really trying to say. 

Take a look:

 

What they’re really trying to say: I wiped my ass with my final before I turned it in. Suck it, Professor douche-bag.

 

What they’re really trying to say: College memories to last for years! Date-rape psychological trauma to last a lifetime!

 

What they’re really trying to say: If I skipped like a week of birth control, can I take seven pills in a single day to fix it?

 

What they’re trying to say: I’m gonna see if I can trick one of these guys into giving me a sweet HJ.

 

What they’re trying to say: It’s easier to be a Jewish Nazi than anti-abortion in college.

 

What they’re really trying to say: I’m doing more damage to my sperm than a rake to the balls daily.

 

What they’re really trying to say: Guys, seriously, if there is no bigger call for suicide prevention than a poetry blog.

 

What they’re really trying to say: I think if I start really committing to playing the open mic at Starbucks in the quad, I could really make a name for myself.

 

What they’re really trying to say: Give us a word, any word, and we’ll show you an uncomfortable silence for an hour.

 

Stay tuned to CRAVE ONLINE every week for Decoding the Facebook!