13 Ways to Troll the Internet


Paul Tamburroby Paul Tamburro

In the year 2012 the word 'troll' no longer conjures up images of big-haired, terrifying childrens toys, but of sweaty basement-dwellers tormenting people on the internet. However, despite trolls often being depicted as mindless, immature losers, it should be noted that it actually takes some effort to be an anonymous arsehole. Here are 13 ways to troll the internet:


1. Post a comment on a wrestling video informing wrestling fans that it is fake – Also point out the latent homosexuality of those who enjoy watching it. 

2. Repeatedly ask female internet users why they are not "in the kitchen" – It will be pretty difficult for them to make you a sandwich if they're on the internet.

3. Type in capital letters even if you aren't trying to convey anger or enthusiasm: – You don't need vocal cords to be loud and obnoxious.

4. Have contradictory and factually inaccurate opinions regardless of whether you believe in them or not – Nothing says 'alpha male' like anonymously arguing over inconsequential topics.

5. Go on ChatRoulette solely to undermine the penis size of masturbating men – Because watching a man touch his dick isn't gay if you vocally express your displeasure whilst he's doing it.

6. Let everyone know you're "first!" – You can't put it on your CV, but being the first guy to comment on a YouTube video is still a pretty impressive feat.

7. Start a Facebook fan page dedicated to harrassing victims of a tragedy – Hey, you're just exercising your freedom of expression! If anything, you're a HERO.

8. Call those who have conflicting ideas to yours, "faggots" – Contrary to popular belief homosexuality has nothing to do with a person's sexuality, but rather whether or not they agree with you over pointless shit.

9. Visit an Xbox forum and pledge your allegiance to Nintendo – Don't forget to point out that the Wii did motion control before Kinect.

10. Harrass celebrities on Twitter – Regardless of what its creators may say, we all know that the primary reason for Twitter's existence is to make inflammatory comments regarding Lady Gaga's gender.

11. Post "TITS OR GTFO" underneath any YouTube video that features a female – Because bitches love being sexually harrassed by anonymous internet users.

12. Employ overused memes – Everybody still finds RickRolling funny, right?

13. Undermine the performance of a rivaling sports team – Use this formula for maxixum effect: Sports Team A is better than Sports Team B, because Sports Team A has Sports Player A, whereas Sports Team B has Sports Player B, who is a dickhead.