Decoding the Facebook: Football Begins!

We tell you what your friends are really trying to say on Facebook during Football Sundays!

Christian Krauspeby Christian Krauspe

Suffering from obscure Facebook status updates from your friends and family? Ever wish you knew what they were really trying to say? Well, we here at CRAVE have developed a useful little guide for getting passed the subtext in your friend’s Facebook statii in order to show you what they’re really trying to say.

This week we take on Football season. One of the country’s most popular sports, football brings sports fans together with thrilling violence and maddening alcohol. Everyone’s got something to say about it. And with our help, you’ll get to the truth.

Take a look:

 

What they’re really trying to say: I’m gonna kill myself on an overdose of Coors light and buffalo wings. My body is going to look like that first victim from Se7en.

 

What they’re really trying to say: That’s right, Phil. Just sit your fat-ass on the couch. Little do you know my period is six weeks late so in nine months your football Sundays are going bye-bye.

 

What they’re really trying to say: I was touched by a clergyman when I was younger.

 

What they’re really trying to say: If I get too drunk and give Gary half a hand job again I’m never gonna forgive myself.

 

What they’re really trying to say: Because my husband will give me a pair of Irish sunglasses if they lose. 

 

What they’re really trying to say: I haven’t seen my own penis since Cheers was on TV.

 

What they’re really trying to say: I hope I don’t hit another kid on my way home. That last one stripped some paint of my bumper. 

 

What they’re really trying to say: Thinking of Tebow in the shower makes me want to clutch penis.

 

What they’re really trying to say: Cheaters or not, the Pats have Irish luck and redneck ignorance on their side. 

 

Stay Tuned to CRAVE for MORE Decoding the Facebook!