Quiz: Would You Throw A Fun Orgy?

Think you have what it takes to throw the orgy to end all orgies? Find out here!

Christian Krauspeby Christian Krauspe

Don't lie to us and say you've never thought about what an orgy would be like. Everyone is curious from time to time. But could you throw one? Not only that, but if you threw an orgy, would people enjoy it?

We here at CRAVE feel it is our duty to ask ourselves these tough questions. Luckily, we have developed a little quiz to help you determine if your ORGY is going to be the Lalapallooza of orgies, or the "Gathering of the Juggalos" of orgies.

There's only one way to find out:

 

1.) What sort of stationary do you use for your invitations?

a.) What stationary? Email, baby!

b.) Um, printer paper? White?

c.) Handmade, recycled, 100% organic scented paper.

d.) A date, time, and lube specifications carved into a bathroom stall door.

 

2. What is your go-to snack item?

a.) Pita chips.

d.) Guacamole.

c.) Pretzels shaped like little penises.

d.) Vodka and cold medicine.

 

3. You want to invite some friends from work, but can’t decide if they’d be into it. How do you try and bring it up?

a.) Nervously ask during lunch.

b.) Make up some story about, “Oh, I heard about an orgy once…” And see how they react.

c.) Start leaving Penthouse around your workstation and see if anyone notices. 

d.) Start every sentence with, “This reminds me of the time I was sandwiched between this Russian blonde and Frank from down the street…”

 

4. How do you figure out whom to invite?

a.) Invite all of Craigslist.

b.) Close friends only.

c.) Skywriting “Orgy at Jerry’s House.”

d.) Invite 20 guys and just hope a single chick shows up.

 

5. What movies do you rent to play in the background?

a.) Giant Asses in Heat.

b.) Curious Jenny’s Trip to Cancun.

c.) Hostel.

d.) Top Gun.

 

6. How many nipple clamps is too many nipple clamps?

a.) Gross. It’s just about sex, not weird stuff.

b.) Um, maybe a handful?

c.) No such thing as too many nipple clamps.

d.) Nipple clamps!?! How about dick rubber-bands?

 

7. What sort of music will you play?

a.) Smooth jazz

b.) Latin beats.

c.) Classic rock.

d.) ABBA’s Gold. Butt will never taste as good with anything else.

 

8. Do you include a costume theme in your orgy?

a.) No. Too elaborate.

b.) 80’s Orgy!

c.) Old West orgy!

d.) I got a theme – it’s called, “show up at TJ’s and get sexed.”

 

9. The party suddenly runs out of lube. What do you do?

a.) Party’s over.

b.) See what’s in the fridge.

c.) Rug burn only lasts so long.

d.) A rash is for a couple days, a great orgy is for a lifetime.

 

If you answered mostly (a), your orgy will likely suck. And not in a good way.

If you answered mostly (b), your orgy is okay, but it won’t get you street cred.

If you answered mostly (c), your orgy is going down in the history books.

If you answered mostly (d), you don’t throw orgies. Orgies throw you. (yeah, we don’t know what that means either)

 

CRAVEONLINE wishes you the safest orgies possible!