10 WTF OkCupid Profiles

Enter the bizarre world of online dating.

Geoffrey Goldenby Geoffrey Golden

Self-Summary: I’m a weird guy who’s into posting stuff about myself on dating websites that I probably shouldn’t, like the size of my penis and how I like the smell of a girl’s farts in the morning. I’m really good at: getting featured on the Tumblr OkCupid Enemies. You should message me if: you want to see 10 WTF OkCupid profiles…


Dog Talker

They tell him that he rocks and he tells them, “I know!”


Bug Sex

“I must paint your thorax.”



Next Stop: Burning Man?


Evil Clown

I think he’d do better on eScaringMe.


Numm Numms

Six year-old hacker strikes another dating site profile…


Nazi Juggalo

Don’t worry, her friend is a Nazi Furry and you’d love her.



The man really loves his ASCII art.


Regular Guy

Y’know, regular guy stuff.


Areola Man

The man knows his strengths.


Maxipad Experimenter

This guy’s having trouble getting a date? I find that hard to believe.


Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans! Background via.