5 Memes You Should Know

Nature has produced the finest array of momentum-building furies that render men quaking in their stead: tidal waves, wildfires, and memes with cats.

Lee Keelerby Lee Keeler

“Where were you when Nyan Cat hit?” Questions like these will be passed around dinner tables and spittoons for centuries, building legendary status with each perpetuating amateur authorship! Not since the folk songs of the Appalachian hills have so many undereducated participants been able to alter and mutate a cultural trend! We speak not of “Barbera Allen” and her regional themes, but more succinctly of Rebecca Black and her various memes! So rise, my children of soapbox media, and bow before the requirements of 5 Memes You Should Know!


1.) “What I Do” Denny’s Menu

The 6 Pictures meme is meant to present a spectrum of impressions based on the various stereotypes of a popular subject! Just as Freud once divided the human consciousness into the ego, the id and the super-ego, so shall our perceptions on a subject be expanded and pigeonholed into 6 little images that resemble a Denny’s menu. Brain!


2.) Colorful Unfolded Origami Pinwheel Pattern around Subject

We have so many things to see on the internet! So many things to see! There is very little time for context, let alone spelling, so let us proceed with an image of a head giving ridiculous advice or a funny catch phrase! I guess if you read ten of these, that would constitute the length of a paragraph! Which means you could have just read part of a book. I’m sorry.


3.) Doodle Emotion Guys

In our infancy, we are prone to create doodles that express our innermost desires, nightmares and heroes that we will one day lend dimension to and challenge with our maturity. Once we have achieved the phase of adulthood, our brains will have blossomed forth with the ability to understand immense emotional capacity, engaging in complex symphonies like solitude, anger and doubt. And we will pull our adult fingers out of our mouths just long enough to tweet these feelings with Y U No Guy, Rage Guy and Forever Alone Guy before we go back to jacking off.


4.) Semiotic Boobs

Here at Crave, we are constantly reminded that semiotics is basically the relations between written or spoken signs and their referents in the physical world or the world of ideas. That said, where better to stoke the memories of your favorite Pokemon characters than the chest of some girl that didn’t make the cut for Suicide Girls? Repeat these basics: round cartoony thing and girl with no self-esteem.


5.) Any Creature without Thumbs Doing Stuff that Creatures with Thumbs Do

This is the most generic and simple principle to culture-fart your meme into trending on Twitter faster than it took for your mother to birth you while in labor! Frogs that iPhone! Cats with clothing! Dogs that play ragtime piano in Corey Hart sunglasses! The true joy of attaining success in this realm is that all of your contemporaries will have no choice but to heed your voice in matters pertinent to your creature! Hey, you could even be a Keyboard Cat Doctor one day!


Lee Keeler is the Producer/Host of TheHourofPowerHour and a contributing writer for The Devastator Quarterly, “The Quarterly Comedy Magazine for Humans”.