Every dog has its day. Meanwhile, every other day, they wish they had things a little better. A trunk of toys is nice, but couldn’t it be full of bones instead? These are first world dog problems, a meme that examines the longings of suburban dogs who aren’t as content as their happy drooling faces suggest.
Life is meaningless.
I hear the toilet was freshly scrubbed, too.
He’s got a bone to pick with his owners.
Nothing to do now but stare at the lesser squeaky toys.
Looking to adopt a dog, Ron Swanson?
“Colder than a cat’s heart,” the old dog expression goes.
Those things suck so much.
The bladder is a cruel mistress.
Man’s selfish best friend.
Dogs are gross.
Geoffrey Golden is the Editor-In-Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans! Header via, background via.