The Big List: David Cross! Nightmare Texts! Dictator At The Oscars?

David Cross snorts cocaine in front of Obama. Plus: Will Sacha Baron Cohen mess with the Oscars?

Geoffrey Goldenby Geoffrey Golden

Time to go on a single date, have a good time, soon after go crazy over text message or Facebook, freak out the dude, lose contact forever, hopefully learn something (?) and then check out these links!


David Cross Claims He Snorted Cocaine Within Feet of President Obama

To American cocaine aficionados, he’s known as “Mr. Show-Off.”


Sacha Baron Cohen Wants To Bring The Dictator To The Oscars

Just as long as he gets to molest Eminem, too. [image via]


Girl Text Messages Her Crazy After First Date

This one’s a keeper.


Girl Tattoos and Facebooks Her Crazy After One Week of Dating

This one’s a DOUBLE keeper.


All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay

Turnabout is fair gay.


That’s all for this edition of The Big List. Join us next week, when I’ll snort coke in front of a poster of President Obama. ¡Muy impresionante!


Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans!