Jason Statham Stars in a Remake of ‘Heat’

Brian De Palma will direct The Transporter in a remake of the 1986 Burt Reynolds movie. 

William Bibbianiby William Bibbiani

If you're anything like us, the second you saw that Jason Statham was starring in a remake of Heat you spewed coffee all over your keyboard, threw your coffee mug against the wall, and starting beating your laptop ruthlessly with your own shoes. Well, you can stop doing that now. Jason Statham is starring in a remake of Heat, alright, but it's not the 1995 Michael Mann classic with Al Pacino and Robert De Niro. It's Heat, the 1986 Burt Reynolds film about a bodyguard seeking revenge on a crime boss and who beat up his prostitute friend.

It's a film nobody seems to care about. We were going to post a trailer from the original film to give you an idea of what to expect from the remake, but we can't even find one online. We can find pterodactyl porn online easier than 1-2-3, but the trailer for Heat? That's clearly not as important to preserve for posterity…

Deadline reports that the film will be directed by Brian De Palma, the master stylist behind Dressed to Kill, The Untouchables and Carrie. Making a film with Jason Statham, a mid-level but beloved action star, is probably a good break for De Palma, who hasn't had a real critical or box office success since 1996's Mission: Impossible. The script has been written by the great William Goldman, who also wrote the original novel and the screenplay to the Burt Reynolds version. Goldman is one of the most respected screenwriters in the world, having written such classics as Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, All the President's Men and The Princess Bride. So we're in good hands all around… as long as they leave Michael Mann the f*ck alone.

CraveOnline will be back with more remake news after they announce a reimagining of Gladiator… the 1992 Cuba Gooding Jr. boxing movie.