It’s Time For Your Self Pop Tart

You need a new profile pic and America loves Pop Tarts.

Geoffrey Goldenby Geoffrey Golden

When you’re looking for some kind of morning food, Pop Tarts are there to help you out. Also, when you need something to Photoshop over a camera in that photo of you posing in front of the bathroom mirror, perhaps making a duck face, Pop Tarts are there for you too. Observe the fruitiness from this new Tumblr:

 

Muscle Douche

How about some sprinkles on that, ladies?

 

Scantily Clad Girl

She’s scared you’re gonna touch her Hot Fudge Sundae flavored Pop Tarts. Really scared!

 

Fat Teen

“Look at you, Pop Tart. Just… look at you.”

 

Emo Kid

“I like Wildlicious Wild Strawberry… or whatever.”

 

Elvis Girl

Jellyhouse rock.

 

The Paddler

New flavor idea: spankberry.

 

Weird Bros

Eating too many Pop Tarts will do that to your face.

 

Longing Guy

He has many awful sweaters, but only one pop tart. Savor it.

 

Pikachu Man

I choose you, whatever flavor of Pop Tart is depicted here!

 

Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator, “The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans,” in comic book stores across the country.