Quiz: Are You a Pessimist?

Are you a little ray of sunshine or a bitter self-indulgent sot? Find out here!

Christian Krauspeby Christian Krauspe

In this world we live in it’s easy to be a cynic. But just how cynical are you? Are you a “glass is half empty” kind of person, or are you a “glass is half covered in blood while children cry and wish for the coming apocalypse” kind of person?

We here at CRAVE have developed a little quiz to help you decide for yourself! Take it and find out just how much of a pessimist you might be…

 

You see a couple of young kids operating a lemonade stand, you think:

a.) How cute! I think I’ll make their day and buy two glasses!

b.) Adorable. I’m not going to buy anything, but, adorable nonetheless.

c.) Why can’t they be selling whiskey?

d.) They’d be a lot cuter on fire.

 

You find out that, before anyone, you get to attend an advanced screening of The Dark Knight Rises. You think:

a.) This is the coolest thing ever to happen.

b.) If I have the night off, I’ll go.

c.) No Joker, no advanced screening.

d.) LAME. Christopher Nolan has yet to make any good flicks. I saw The Dark Knight, what a yawn-fest.

 

After a light thunderstorm a rainbow appears, you think:

a.) How beautiful! This day is truly blessed.

b.) Oh, look. A rainbow… cool.

c.) Rainbows are stupid.

d.) Nature is a cruel and unforgiving force. Death is the only certainty in this world. The Rainbow represents the spilling of blood upon the earth.

 

Naked pictures of Megan Fox surface on the Internet. You think:

a.) Cancel my schedule for the rest of the week, I’ve got a meeting with Lady Jergens.

b.) I’ll have to check those out when I have the chance.

c.) Bad actress… she probably looks bad naked.

d.) She’d be cuter if she had more scars.

 

The 1% strikes a deal to insure health care, food, security, education for everyone etc, etc, etc. You think:

a.) This is finally a country I’m proud to live in.

b.) The first step is always the hardest.

c.) Who cares? It never gets any better.

d.) What’s the point of happiness if Snooki is popular?

 

You score some front-row tickets to go see the Foo Fighters. You think:

a.) This is the epitome of rock’n’roll.

b.) Should be really cool.

c.) Eh, not really my style.

d.) Kurt Cobain had it right.

 

Your baseball team just acquired a major star, which puts your team in prime World Series position. You think:

a.) Oh boy, oh boy! It’s going to be a great year!

b.) Looking forward to seeing how this plays out.

c.) This happens every year with no results.

d.) I quit watching baseball years ago to focus on Thai cobra wrestling. You want to talk about high-stakes, this is the sport.

 

A cute little blond just slid a phone number to you from across the bar. You think:

a.) Jackpot!

b.) Things are looking good.

c.) She won’t like me for “me.”

d.) She probably has a pretty sizeable penis. (This could be taken as really good or really bad.) 

 

If you answered mostly (a), then you could probably stand to ease it back some.

If you answered mostly (b), then your outlook is good. Probably better than most.

If you answered mostly (c), you're probably pretty seasoned at killing a buzz or two.

If you answered mostly (d), you probably quit reading this to knock over a kid's ice cream cone. 

 

CRAVE ONLINE wants to meet you later for a drink in its hotel room. It's cool. It's just casual hooking up between friends.