Weird News: Wonder Dog Survives Death Sentence!

In Newark NJ, a stray dog beagle mix, given the name Daniel after he miraculously survived the lions den, by which I mean the Gas Chamber--

Sam Proofby Sam Proof

(and worse yet, one in Alabama)! Daniel was given the death sentence along with several other dogs, but when the operator open the chamber doors he was standing there wagging his tail, a bit confused and scared, but alive and well.

According to the operator, several variables could allow a dog to survive,(Though only 3 others have in the past 12 years),  The variables include,

 

  • Number of animals in the chamber
  • Concentration of monoxide
  • Gas/air leaks in the chambers
  • Oh and if he’s a fricken wonder dog!

 

Vinny Grosso (the shelters director) said Daniel showed up in one of the shelters “drop boxes” – Hang on a second, are shelters like public libraries for animals … you pick it up and when you’re done you slip it through a slot in to a drop box? What? WTF is that?

 

Anyway, this story ends with a happy ending as nearly 100 people who wanted to have their own personal Jesus Dog immediately sought Daniel out. The big winner, Pavlik, worked as an Eleventh hour rescue worker for seven years. And maybe if she’d worked with a 10th hour rescue Daniel wouldn’t have been gassed in the first place.

 

However this, a hairdresser from North jersey, (where by the way, they have the highest concentration of Hair stylists due to the Jersey Shore TV show… and you know, idiocy) now has Daniel safely at home where he’s wagging his little tail and loving life.

Linda Schiller said that out of the 100 or so applications from around the world, about half said that were NOT interested in any dogs other than Daniel. Cause what’s the point in getting a dog you know probably won’t cheat death? This is America we can barely take care of ourselves let alone another creature in capable of intelligent speech.

Oh yea, did you here scientists have discovered that birds tweeting has grammar!? Anyway Schiller has decided the next time some wonder dog survives the clutches of death, instead of releasing a picture of the dog, they’re just going to name all the dogs Daniel and let God sort it out! (see cause then everyone rescues a dog, also it’s funny cause Dog and God are … never mind.. go rescue an animal from a shelter!)