Reasons to Sleep in a Haunted Hotel

Hey, if Shelley Duvall could stomach it, so can you, right?

Lane Cummingsby Lane Cummings

If you live in a big city it’s tough to find an old abandoned house at the top of the hill known to harbor ghosts and with a sordid history.

Luckily, if you live in Los Angeles, you have a wealth of old hotels to choose from that definitely have some dark pasts with some shadowy figures lurking here and there.

Why would you want to sleep in any of these said hotels? (Like The Georgian in Santa Monica, or The Roosevelt in Hollywood or The Biltmore downtown).

Well, let’s explore that together.

That once in a lifetime story.

Listen, the story about how you snorted a mint margarita and then moonwalked off a freight train back in the day just isn’t going to cut it anymore—all your friends have heard it and it’s hard for anyone to fake laugh anymore. How about a story about how you were awoken at 3am by an unseen presence and how the TV in your room inexplicably went on and you saw  the faint outline of a woman who resembled an old Hollywood celebrity, not Marilyn Monroe, but that other one–what’s-her-face. That’s a story for the ages, my friend, and not many people have it.

Test what you’re made of.

So you think you’re tough. You think you don’t scare very easily. Well, let’s see how you do during a night of strange sounds, footsteps around your bed as you sleep, and shadows that flit inexplicably back and forth across the walls. This is perfect for the one in the group who “doesn’t believe in ghosts.” Ghosts have a way of finding that person when he’s in the lair of the haunted hotel and jacking them up with some really good scares.

Open Up Your Spiritual Side.

No, I’m not talking about the side that rubs up against trees and meditates before eating a hamburger; I’m talking about the you that’s willing to admit, hey, maybe there is an Other Side. If you’re in a hotel room and some unseen force starts moving shit around, opening and closing doors and whispering your name, it’s going to be tough for you to chalk all that up to simply “the wind.” You might start to wonder about what this spiritual realm and perhaps educating yourself more about it. No, I don’t expect you to become like that old chirpy woman from Poltergeist, but I will expect you to at least be able to hold your own in a convo about ghosts with me (and you got the first round, btw).

See how your bodily functions hold up.

If you’re in a seriously haunted hotel and some real freaky shit starts to happen—like you start to hear voices or see apparitions—your entire body is going to feel it. You may start sweating uncontrollably; you might need to… use the bathroom. A friend of mine peed in his pants (TWICE) after seeing a little girl holding a red balloon in the Dakota in New York. Yep. Find out how your bladder reacts!