Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series, Best Actress in a Movie Made for Television, Best Reality Show Host? Where does it end? These shows, such as the Oscars, Golden Globes, and the Emmys are now just a pat-ourselves-on-the-back-while-we-sell-air-time grandiose spectacle.
Awkwardly forced celebrity banter and enough dry puns by the host to make you want to kill yourself – but did you know there used to be even more awards?
We here at CraveOnline have gone into the Emmy archives and found some old awards categories that, for some reason, were taken off the ballots.
Let’s take a look at what used to be…
Award: “Outstanding Actor or Actress in a Leaked Pornography Video”
Run: Emmys ’99-‘01
Reasons for taking it off: Everyone got fed up with the guy that played “Screech” trying to get his nominated… and scabies.
Award: “Outstanding Personal Assistant”
Run: Emmy’s ’75-‘98
Reason’s for taking it off: Shocked viewers all over the world when the award was given to the The Contender’s host Sylvester Stallone’s Assistant locked in his tool shed.
Award: The Dana Plano Memorial Award (The Award for Excellence in Eating Disorder and Drug Abuse)
Run: Emmy’s 82’-‘11
Reason for taking it off: It’s just not fair to anyone else with Lohan still on the scene…
Award: “Outstanding Minority Performer”
Run: Emmys ’38-‘69
Reason for taking it off: Lack of nominees.
Award: “Outstanding Actress Schtupped By Jack Nicholson”
Run: Emmys ’62-‘10
Reasons for taking it off: Jack’s third bout with gonorrhea and the fact that Charlie Sheen has better drugs.
Award: “Vince McMahon Award for Hardcore Non-stop In-Your-Face Sports Entertainment”
Run: Emmys ’84-‘08
Reason for taking it off: Changed to the name to “Betty White Award for Non-stop In-Your-Face Sports Entertainment”
Award: “Outstanding Tweet”
Reasons for taking it off: Pointlessness. And Kevin Smith trying to win by tweeting a picture of his own scrotum.
Award: “Outstanding Lifetime Movie About Breast Cancer.”
Run: Every single year
Reasons for taking it off: Lack of cure.
Award: “Outstanding Achievement by an Outstanding Achiever for Achieving Outstandingly”
Run: Emmys ’73-‘09
Reasons for taking it off: Jerry Bruckheimer kept having the awards melted down and turned into floor-mats for his sport cars.
Keep it tuned to CraveOnline!