Don’t spill the salt. Don’t say “Macbeth” in the theatre. Don’t step on a crack. These are all superstitions. And all of them are pretty well known.
But like all folklore, things get lost through the ages. Changed around. Modified.
Luckily, we here at CraveOnline have stumbled upon the ancient texts of old (next to our inter-dimensional portal) and discovered some old superstitions you may never have heard of…
Check ‘em out:
1. If you look in your bathroom mirror and say “Katy Perry” three times, you wake up married to a delightfully uncouth British Comedian, whose charm is starting to become stale. Also, you’ll have the sweetest cans known to man.
2. If you’re walking your dog and it poops and you don’t pick it up, a person in China gives birth to quadruplets.
3. If a Latin Zombie bites you below the waist, not only will you turn into a Zombie yourself, but also any human you bite in turn will taste like pico.
4. If Hugh Hefner taps you twice on the shoulder and he IS NOT wearing a smoking jacket, then you will grow a third nipple.
5. If you’re a person who describes their music collection as, “I like everything but country,” then you have poor taste in music. But, if you’re a person who describes their music collection as, “I only like country,” then you like music in poor taste. And your head will explode.
6. If you base your mornings around a “morning zoo,” radio show, then one or more of your future children will most likely be missing a chromosome.
7. If you drink more than 20 beers in single sitting and then swim in the ocean, then you have obviously never seen the movie, “Jaws.” Or, perhaps even worse – the girl you’re trying to get with will be eaten by Richard Dryfuss.
8. If you put a poodle in a microwave, you’re really f-cking hungry. Just eat some chips, man.
9. If you put cheese in a mousetrap that is older than two days, then you’re wasting delicious cheese. And a man with a hook will hide in your backseat and try to kill you.
10. If you chew gum on the second Sunday of May during a leap year, then your mom will be hit by a truck. And not just any truck. Optimus Prime will run over your mom.
Keep it tuned to CraveOnline for more hilarious contributions.