Oregon Man Arrested After Sexually Abusing A Chicken

BUCUUUUUUUCK!!!!

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Photo: suriyasilsaksom (Getty)

I enjoy going to town on some chicken just as much as the next guy, but I always wait until it has either been fried or grilled and served on a plate with a healthy serving of barbecue sauce on the side.

Well, according to Oregon Live, it’s a different story when that chicken still has a pulse. Just ask Joshua Woltmon of Medford. He’s the 27-year-old man who was arrested Monday after he allegedly sexually assaulted a chicken.

Oregon Man Arrested After Sexually Abusing A Chicken

chicken

Authorities said Woltmon first exposed himself and then “came into contact with the chicken’s genitals” in an effort to “get aroused.” When another guy arrived on the scene to break it up, Woltmon allegedly threatened him with “sharp sticks.” Police arrived a short while later and arrested him for sexual assault of an animal, public indecency, menacing and second-degree disorderly conduct.

It should be noted that a court case from 2014 involving Woltmon determined that he was “functioning at the level of a 7-year-old,” although it should also be noted that we’ve never heard of a 7-year-old kid wanting to fuck a chicken.

Not what they mean by “man’s best friend,” dude: Florida Man Had Sex With His Pit Bull in Front of His Neighbors