Woman Attacks Man, Pours Grease On Him After He Refuses To Stop Playing His Xylophone

Stop with that racket!

Bryan Brunatiby Bryan Brunati
Photo: azgek (Getty)

Wait, so people other than five-year-olds in a Kindergarten music class play the xylophone? That’s news to me.

Let me first start off by saying that this incident occurred in Florida. That’s right. Good old Florida. A 43-year-old-woman named April Encarnacion was recently arrested and charged with domestic battery after police say that Encarnacion dumped a pot of “cold cooking grease” on the male victim. Yep. And why did she do that? Because she was freaking tired of the guy playing his xylophone.

Police say that the man was playing his instrument at around 9:20 PM. And when Encarnacion asked him to stop, he refused, so Encarnacion just poured some grease on him. A cop who responded to the 911 call noted that the male victim had wet spots on his shirt and shorts, and that “there was a puddle of liquid on the ground where the victim was sitting near the xylophone.” Poor guy.

xylo attack

Encarnacion already confessed to the crime, and is set to be in court on May 2. But this isn’t the first time Encarnacion has had trouble with the law, as the unemployed housekeeper is already on probation in connection with a 2015 no contest plea to a felony charge of battery on a police officer. Classy gal.

And I don’t know if the xylophone in question was from Fisher Price, but my god do I hope it is. That would make this story so much better. And let’s just assume this guy was playing his xylophone like this:

Via The Smoking Gun

And then there’s this lady: Woman Assaults Boyfriend After He Says Her Pasta Is Just ‘OK’