Pittsburgh Mans Gets Ear Bitten Off By Roommate Who Was Afraid Donald Trump Would Deport Him

Did you hear about this guy? Oh wait...

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Photo: via CBS Pittsburgh

Here’s a guy who really will eat anything for breakfast.

According to CBS Pittsburgh, a 30-year-old man living in Pittsburgh’s East Liberty neighborhood had part of ear bitten off by his roommate during a “heated” verbal argument at 6:45 a.m. Monday morning.

The verbal argument turned into what some in the biz call a “felony assault” when Marco Ortiz’s roommate “bit off part of his ear, twisted his finger and threatened to kill him,” all because the roommate…wait for it…feared that Donald Trump was going to deport him.

No, seriously. This happened:

Pittsburgh Mans Gets Ear Bitten Off By Roommate Who Was Afraid Donald Trump Would Deport Him

“Anytime he’s drinking, he’s going crazy,” Ortiz said. “All he would say is ‘if Donald Trump is gonna take me out, I gotta kill so many people, then somebody kill me and I am happy.'”

The good news for Ortiz is that police found the massive chunk of ear that was torn off by his roommate’s teeth during a search of their apartment, and it has since been reattached to where it belongs. The bad news is that police have yet to find his roommate, which must make sleeping at night a ton of fun.

And perhaps a word of advice for the future, son. Before you let a dude live in your place for half of the year, start by getting the basics from him, like his last name perhaps. Just a suggestion.

Here’s one of many reasons why not being able to afford your own place in Iowa is depressing: Iowa Man Stabs Roommate Over Dirty Dishes