Michigan Man Gets His 14th DUI

Wow, Michigan. At what point does he get a free hat and shirt for the kids?

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Photo: Westend61 (Getty)

Good lord! This guy’s lawyer should be up for some kind of award.

According to The Smoking Gun, a 54-year-old Michigan man was arrested last Friday evening for operating a vehicle while intoxicated after a police officer witnessed him run a red light in his 1998 Pontiac Grand Prix.

On the surface, it would seem as though the most disturbing part of the story is the fact that Zenon Bialokur is driving around in the same car I had while I was in college, but that is far from the case. You see, kids, Bialokur’s arrest on January 13 marked the…wait for it…14th time he has been arrested for drunk driving since 1998.

Michigan Man Gets His 14th DUI

14th dui

This time around, police charged him with felony drunk driving, driving without a license, and possessing “open intoxicants” in a motor vehicle. That’s right, everybody. After filling his resume with 13 drunk driving convictions, Bialokur is still driving around with open intoxicants in his car. What a great guy.

If Bialokur’s 13 previous DUIs don’t make him one of the most careless assholes in the great state of Michigan, his 10 convictions for driving with a suspended license and 12 “current suspensions of his driving privilege” sure as shit do.

It’s unknown just how many drunk driving convictions it takes to land a lengthy stint in the slammer these days, but let’s hope lucky number 14 will do the trick.

Oh, this is cute: Texas College Girl Drives Around In Barbie Jeep After Her DWI Arrest