They may be damn delicious, but don’t even get us started on the corn syrup, caffeine or dangerous ingredients in your favorite sweet drinks. For now, let’s start with the sugar alone, of which these popular drinks have way too much. You can practically taste the diabetes. Note that we tried to rank them by potency, as many come in different sizes, from the tiny, mighty bullet (8 oz.) to the towering fatties (32 oz.)
10. SoBe Citrus Energy
SoBe, an “enhanced” drink brand owned by PepsiCo, has a number of sugary drinks waiting to pump you up, more so bloated than energized, including their Citrus Energy, a sweet orangey substance with 63 grams of sugar in its 20-ounce bottle. SoBe also has a “healthy” Energize Green Tea 20-ounce with 51 grams of sugar and the energy drink, Adrenaline Rush, which has 66 grams in only a 16-ounce container, by far the strongest in sugar of them all.
9. Minute Maid Lemonade
Remember when your mother gave you some fresh Minute Maid, thinking it was healthier than the other crap she shoved down your gullet? Well, Minute Maid Lemonade, like most lemonades, has a little too much tart thanks to more than 67 grams of sugar in its 20-ounce bottles. Just wait until you see which drinks gets the number-six slot. You’ll be surprised it tops this.
8. Sunkist Orange Soda
Another orange splash of sugar is Sunkist, whose 20-ounce bottle has 72 grams. Orange Crush, a similar competitor weighs in just under Sunkist with 71 grams of sugar in theirs. This is hardly an accomplishment, as both are listed as two of the most sugary soft drinks readily available.
7. Mountain Dew
Coca Cola’s citric sister, the Dew, is no stranger to charts of the extreme. With a number of new Dews on the extreme block, we’ll just give you the stats for regular, old-fashioned Dew: 77 grams of sugar in a 20-ounce bottle. Know anyone with a Dew addiction? It’s not too late for an intervention.
6. Minute Maid Cranberry Grape
Here’s a curveball for you: a seemingly healthy fruit juice. Minute Maid is back again with an even smaller container, yet somehow more sugar, in what you’d think to be a healthier choice. The cranberry-grape concoction is a smaller, 15-ounce bottle with a larger sugar total, approximately 71 grams in all.
5. Tropicana Twister Orange Soda
Apparently, orange sodas can’t be successfully distributed without a shit-ton of sugar. The leader of the pack: Tropicana. Their orange juice alone has been known to contain a bit of extra sugar compared to your everyday hand-squeezed OJ, but their Twister Orange Soda is a baffling 20-ounce bottling with a whopping 87.5 grams of sugar. That’s nearly worth notifying the National Guard.
4. Starbucks Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha
Starbucks?! No way! Yes way. Your fancy coffee drinks have it, too. A 20-ounce Starbucks Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha has 94 grams of sugar. And their white hot chocolate has 76 grams of sugar. Pictured above, their line of new frappucinos are chock full of sugar as well, which keeps the cracked-out sugar lovers coming in daily. We’re not saying Starbucks regulars look or act like crackheads, but we kind of are.
3. Rockstar Punched Guava
Hold onto your seat, as we’re about to give you something to help you poop. Rockstar, known for boosting energy levels, is also probably known for boosting diabetes, as their Punched Guava is known to have more than 100 grams of sugar in a 22-ounce bottle and 74 grams in its 16-ounce drinks, which is more than what most of these have in their 22-ounce servings.
It’s ironic enough since the regular Rockstar Energy Drink claims to be sugar free. Why’d they have to go and make something more sugary in their Punched Guava? It’s not a contest! At least it’s kind of low in sodium? This drink is currently not listed as active on their wiki page.
2. McDonald’s Triple Thick Chocolate Shake
Why doesn’t it surprise us that McDonald’s, seemingly the king contributor of obesity in our country, would not only have one of the most sugary drinks but serve it in one of the largest sizes. Their Triple Thick Chocolate Shake, which just sounds fat, comes in a 32-ounce tub with 168 grams of sugar. Broken down, if that were a 22-ounce drink (two-thirds the size), it would still have significantly more sugar than the other 22-ounce drinks (112 grams). Their Frappe Mocha 12-ounce has 62 grams of sugar as well, meaning there’s more than one way to fatten a cat with sugar over at Ronald’s house.
There’s a reason why it’s called Hype. Living down to its name, a tiny 250 ml can has between 64 and 67 grams of sugar, all derived from high fructose corn syrup, which may seem like less but it’s actually the most concentrated of all these sweet drinks. That’s just over 8 ounces with the same amount of sugar as most of the 16-ounce drinks above. This makes Jolt Cola, a classic ’90s staple soda with 94 grams of sugar (280 mg of caffeine, too) in a 24-ounce container, look good for you. Alright, now somebody alert the National Guard.