Tattoos were be ink-to-skin artwork that made a person unique. What’s happened though is that everybody has gotten them, making those without ink the unique party. Irony, right? Another, more optimistic way to view this trend is to say that tattoos have finally become socially acceptable – at least for most people. Because truth of the matter is, some tattoos shouldn’t be acceptable. Some are so awful they’re unredeemable by anyone’s standards; it doesn’t matter how great of a person you are. These are the unredeemable tattoos that some dudes actually pay for.
1. Barbed Wire Armband
Had to start with this one. All that the barbed wire tattoo signifies is that you decided to get a tattoo at a young, stupid age in the mid-’90s.
2. The Name Of A Current Girlfriend
You figured getting a tattoo of the girl you’re dating but not engaged to was something your buddies would endorse? You figured wrong, friend. It’s kind of creepy.
3. Pinup With Nudity
Nudity in tattoos are pointless. Unless you’re aiming to look like the kind of guy who giggles when an unexpected boob pops up in a PG movie.
4. Any Neck Tattoo Ever
This is only cool if you’re an established rock star (meaning you’re so rich future employment won’t matter), a tattoo artist, an extreme sports athlete, or seasoned criminal. None of these jobs are easy to come by, nor are they respected by any parent or adult-like figure. Same applies for facial tattoos, which are somehow even more stupid.
5. A Tiger Or Panther Fighting A Snake
Do you know what this means? It means you wasted half of your arm on an image that thousands of other people also have. Could you have at least come up with a different set of feuding animals, or did you just pick this baby off of the shop’s wall?
6. A Cartoon Or Video Game Character
No. Let her find out you’re a nerd after you’ve slept with her.
7. A Quote From A Modern Pop Star Or Lyric
Is what today’s celebrities have to say really anything special? No, probably not.
8. An Alcoholic Product
You like beer so much you got a tattoo of it? Right on. You probably got this baby when you were in college, didn’t you? Yeah, that’s cool. Most of us don’t make good decisions after a liter of whiskey at 3AM on a Wednesday.
9. A Brand
Did you get free product for it? A lot of free product? Sure as hell hope so.
10. A Self Portrait
Only Steve-O can pull this off. This guy clearly can’t.
11. A Skull & Crossbones
Traditional, but in a bad way. Getting this tattoo only makes you look tough if you’re a biker. If you’re not, it looks like you’re trying to be a biker. Not nearly as intimidating.
12. A Butt Tattoo
A drunken mistake. Not as funny as it was when you got it – even though that wasn’t really funny, either.
13. Anything Topical
Bet that Psy tattoo seemed like a better idea when you expected him to follow up “Gangnam Style” with an equally adored hit.
14. Any Scripture In Gothic Font
You didn’t go to prison. You haven’t even illegally downloaded a song. Quit pretending.
15. Mythological Creatures
Aside from conjuring up images of some 30-year-old larper in grandma’s basement, it’s better to stick with creatures that actually exist.
Apple changes their entire product lineup like twice every year – or at least it seems that way. So the tattoo you just got to symbolize your affection for the billion dollar tech company will also be obsolete when you shell out $2,000 on their latest version of said product.
17. Something Intentionally Offensive
If you have a swastika or confederate flag somewhere visible on your body it’s safe to say you’re a dude who’s looking for trouble. You knew when you got this tattoo that it would stir up some shit. With tattoos like these, most assume you’re a guy who doesn’t have many friends, but know the bar staff in town quite well because they’re all you really talk to.
18. An Eagle Holding A Skull Or American Flag
You’re proud of your country, that’s awesome. But couldn’t you have displayed this affection in a less aggressive/generic way?