It was announced earlier this week that the Seattle Seahawks agreed to terms with 38-year-old veteran receiver Terrell Owens to a one-year deal with $1 million. T.O. hasn't played in the NFL in two years when he caught 72 passes for 983 yards and nine TDs with Cincinnati.
Teams were afraid to sign him last year, not only because his off-the-field antics, but also because of his off-season knee surgery. Now he's two years shy of 40 and needs to prove the doubters wrong; not only because Pete Carroll needs his job, but also because Owens has a lot of baby-mommas to pay.
Here are the top 5 reasons T.O. needs to wreck secondaries in the NFL this fall.
#5 We need a new controversial touchdown dance.
Notice how things have been stale in the 'NFL celebratory realm' since T.O. and Chad Ochocinc…excuse me…Chad Johnson have aged? I have a feeling that eating popcorn and stabbing a football on a giant mid-field star are so early 2000's. Look for T.O. to start doing one-handed burpees with a real-life seahawk attached to his shoulder blades following his first touchdown this Aug…Septe….Octob….whenever it comes!
#4 We don't want to see T.O. suit up for the Omaha Beef.
Yes, you read that correctly. The Omaha Beef. I can see it seven years from now…Terrell Owens: 6-time Pro-Bowler, 5th all-time in receiving touchdowns, NFL Hall-Of-Famer, and…former Omaha Beef… Fact is, T.O. had to suit up for the Indoor Football League's Allen Wranglers this past year where he played eight games, scoring 10 TDs. If he bombs in Seattle, he could be in Omaha playing for the IFL's Beef real fast. Then of course if that does happen and the Beef are horrendous, you could always fly to Nebraska and heckle "where's the beef?!."
#3 Skip Bayless
The ESPN analyst has been calling T.O., 'Team Obliterator' for years. If Owens comes out with a dud this fall it will only encourage Bayless and his psycho-babble to continue and arm him with enough ammunition for First Take that will last until Christmas time. Bayless is like the male Judge Judy of the sports world; entertaining to watch at first glance, but after a few minutes you literally feel your brain start to melt.
#2 We want to see T.O. in a Twilight movie.
Owens appeared in an episode of Desperate Housewives in a suggestive scene with Nicollette Sheridan in 2004. If Owens makes it to the top of the NFL pyramid once again, who's to say that he can't reach further heights in Hollyweird?? I can see him now; Glee presents T.O.: Twinkling Opera….The Kardashians present T.O.: the newest husband of Kim…wait, latest divorcee of Kim…. The Twilight Saga: Edward, Jacob or T.O.?? You decide.
#1 We don't want to see him on Judge Judy
Think it's a stretch? He already made an appearance on Dr. Phil earlier this year because he couldn't make his child support payments to his 27 baby-mommas. None of us want to see it taken further. You think Ray Lewis scary T.O?…. Judy would eat your face off.