The Inbetweeners Movie is released in the UK today (August 17), and if writer Damon Beesley is to be believed, then this means that this is the last we will see of Will, Simon, Jay and Neil. In a world where British teen drama solely extended to the hyper-real and sexy Skins, The Inbetweeners came along and grounded itself firmly in reality, winning us over with its tales of rejection, humiliation and awful, awful sex.
Here are 5 moments that are my personal favourites of the 3 series.
5. Simon’s dirty talk
In series 3 the perennially unlucky-in-love Simon managed to snag himself a girlfriend in the form of the immature Tara. Unfortunately for him, Tara viewed Simon largely as a spineless empty canvas that she could mould into whichever shape she wanted.
The lowest point of their fledgling relationship came when she convinced him into talking dirty to her, which was only ever going to end horrifically. Starting off with the standard “I want to kiss your boobs”, Simon eventually moved into more pornographic territory, before culminating their little romantic tete-a-tete with “I WANT TO F*** YOUR F***ING FANNY OFF, YOU TWAT!” Check it out!
4. Will’s exam troubles
Exams are terrifying at the best of times. All that pressure coupled with sitting in a room full of your peers, all sweating and staring anxiously at the piece of paper lying before them, ready to decide their future. In terms of teenage troubles it ranks right up there with losing your virginity, and drunkenly holding in your vomit in whilst trying to chat up that girl you think you’re in love with.
However, regardless of whether or not you failed your exams, you must bear in mind one thing: at least you never sh*t yourself. A small consolation, perhaps, but one that Will would certainly have liked to have had following his disastrous episode in series 2.
After mixing heavy revision sessions with energy drinks and sleepless nights, Will’s dreams of A Level success are SHATtered (geddit?!) when he accidentally defecates himself. Is there anything more embarrassing than publically defecating yourself? What about turning up to the pub afterwards with your stool-stained trousers in a carrier bag?
3. “I’VE GOT A RECEIPT!”
Acting under the assumption that girls are attracted to guys who throw Frisbee’s, Will convinces Jay, Simon and Neil to join him in the park for a game of catch. Obviously this is a ridiculous idea, made even more ridiculous when Will inadvertently hits a mentally disabled girl in the face.
After apologising profusely, Will proceeds to attempt to reclaim his Frisbee from the clutches of the girl, who by then is screaming loudly. Thus the local bullies enter the fray (“that wanker is trying to steal that girls Frisbee!”) and chase Will and Simon through the neighbourhood as Will loudly protests his ownership of the Frisbee, exclaiming “I’VE GOT A RECEIPT! I’VE GOT A RECEIPT!” Check it out!
2. Football friend!
After the boys attend a party where they find themselves awkwardly positioned in the corner opposing a bunch of people infinitely cooler than they are, a guy walks up to Jay and says goodbye to him. Perplexed by Jay knowing someone who isn’t them, the others proceed to bully him about it by repeatedly taunting him with the chant of “Oooh! Friend!”
Thus the first Inbetweeners catchphrase entered the zeitgeist, with every teenager and his/her mother seemingly unable to hold a conversation with their peers without sticking up their two thumbs and saying “football friend!”
Eventually, like “Bus Wankers” after it, the catchphrase became very old very fast, and my reaction to hearing it now is akin to Jays after his friends persistent mocking – standing atop a Ford Focus, having a mental breakdown.
1. The Fish Punch
If you are uninitiated with The Inbetweeners, you need only watch the fish punch scene to get an in-depth idea of the foursome’s distinct personalities. Stuck in the middle of the harbour without a paddle, the boys are taken by surprise when a fish somehow gets itself onto their rowboat.
Will panics (but remains condescending), Jay overreacts (by shooting an emergency flare into the sky), Simon sits motionless and humiliated (after removing all his clothes following a fall into the water), and Neil makes a spontaneous and baffling decision, by punching the fish to death.
As the others stare mouths agape, Neil repeatedly punches the trout until the floor of the rowboat is nothing but a bloody mess. “Well, that was a much more dignified end for him” says Will. Check it out!