As Final Destination 5 sated the bloodlust of thousands of cinemagoers last weekend, what better way to celebrate than to compile a fun little list devoted entirely to movie deaths?
Not just any movie deaths, though. Oh no. The best kind of movie deaths. The ones that are so out of left field that the audience can do nothing but laugh, cry, or scratch their heads confusedly. Or gasp in horror, as one alarmingly insensitive entry on this list will show. Here are the top 5 random movies deaths.
5. Hot Fuzz: A Message From Above – Hot Fuzz Clip!
Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg’s Wicker-Man-meets-Bad-Boys tale of a little village turned evil took a jarringly violent turn when the local communities’ resident journo Tim Messenger found himself impaled by the conveniently dislodged steeple of a church.
As if that wasn’t gruesome enough Messengers’ lifeless body continues to stumble around like a drunken Pyramid Head from Resident Evil, much to the horror of the blood-soaked Nicholas Angel (Pegg), who recoils in shock as the beheaded reporters body collapses to the floor.
4. Zombieland: “Oh my God, I can’t believe I shot Bill Murray…” – Zombieland Clip!
Clad in zombie get-up, Professional Awesome Son-of-a-Bitch Bill Murray (playing himself, no less) attempts to scare the perennially nervous “little bunny” Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg). Unfortunately things don’t work out too well, as Columbus shoots first and then asks questions later.
A dying Murray is left to ponder his biggest regrets in life (Garfield) before bowing out with an incredibly lengthy final breath. “He just gets me”, says Wichita. May he rest in peace.
3. Remember Me: No… they can’t… they wouldn’t. Oh. They have. – Remember Me Clip!
Those turning up to the cinema to watch a Robert Pattinson “romantic coming of age drama” (previous line courtesy of Wikipedia, of course) were probably expecting to shed a few tears at the expense of a schmaltzy love story that spent 120 minutes trying its damnedest to garner some sort of emotive response, using a series of clichés and longing stares from out of RPatz’s sullen pretty boy eyes to do so.
Unfortunately what they got was a typically forgettable chick flick but with the addition of an inexplicably bad taste finale, that saw Edward Cullen staring out from the window of a building that reveals itself to be the Twin Towers, as the sound of screams and the roaring engine of a plane signal that yes, the director has gone there and yes, you’ve just witnessed the greatest tragedy of the past decade being reduced to an awful plot device.
2. The Thing: Need a HAND? He really put some ELBOW grease into it! Etc. – The Thing Clip!
In this age of CGI it’s difficult to comprehend a time where special effects largely boiled down to a tub of silly putty and a few inches of string. Now that whole movies can be created solely using digital effects, looking back at movies past sometimes proves to be difficult when the creepy creature you’re supposed to be terrified by looks like it could’ve been made by your 8-year-old niece.
Fortunately The Thing doesn’t fit into that category, as its stop-motion effects are second to none and there awesomeness is none more apparent than in the infamous defibrillator scene. In a movie where death lingers around the corner, it speaks volumes for this scene that it still managed to shock us. One of those classic movie moments that just makes you want to high-five your best friend and make love to a beautiful woman.
1. The Departed: OMG LEO!!! – The Departed Clip!
We all know how movies work: good guy chases after bad guy, good guy catches bad guy, good guy kills/arrests bad guy, good guy goes home and stares in the mirror pondering how handsome and successful he is.
The Departed, however, surprised us by taking a completely different route and having blonde-haired-blue-eyed hero Leo DiCaprio’s head smattered all over the walls of an elevator, courtesy of a bullet to the skull. Men gasped. Women cried. A couple of smartasses in the back said “I’ll never let go, Jack”.